Saturday, May 14, 2011

Know what you want.

Okay. I'm giving you fair warning. This is about to be long winded and it has no sketches. This is basically for me, as Ive been battling alot with myself lately. ( If you couldn't tell from the dialogue I would have in previous posts. )

I thought I would share it with whoever would want to listen. So, you can check out now and wait for the next sketch post, or continue at your own risk.

-- Rambling

So, Ive had quite a few people lately approach me, asking me how they could get into a career field they loved. A creative one to be more exact. I'm always surprised people would even ask me, as I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants, and that I am knee deep trying to figure stuff out for myself.

For me, I knew I was gonna be an animator. I don't know why, I just knew. When I met my wife was when I actually started doing something about it... When I actually WANTED to be an animator.

Now before I go any further, I'm gonna define some things. This isn't to point people out, or that I think most people don't want it as bad as I did. This is the opinion and advice that I hand out. In sharing this, I realized I need to dole this out to myself.

Sooooooo, I'm gonna direct this next bit to a dilemma I'm currently having ( not career related ).

Before my daughter was born, I was so stressed about the pregnancy, and that something bad was gonna happen, that I lost 30 lbs. It been a while since Id been that light. After she was born I PACKED on that 30 lbs and some "bonus" weight to boot.

I would say all the time " I really want to lose this weight." I'm gonna work out and get back to being svelte.... It was nice not carrying all that extra weight, so of course I would want to be that again. ( This is where the story becomes relevant. Promise. )

A few months later, I was still packing on weight . Depression started kicking in as well. Apparently, I really DIDN'T WANT to lose the weight. I continued to do things that went against that whole concept. ( I do this in many more areas in my life, but this one was the simplest to tell.) I started beating myself up constantly. I felt like I was lying to myself. Thus the depression.

I would say things like " I don't have time to cook healthier" or " I cant expect my wife to cook because she works full time too. So fast food , energy drinks and junk food are my only options..."

Now lets turn this conversation to a career one. A sort of mad lib and see if it resonates .

"I really want to be a / an ( insert career interest here ) . The only problem is I need to make as much money as I do now. I'm not smart enough or going back to school is not an option for me. Theres too much competition. I will never be good enough to do it professionally." Etc....

All those things might as well be true if they keep you from doing something towards your goal. If thats your thinking, the only thing NOT true in that sentence is the "WANTING".

Here's the good news though. You have a choice.

I'm finding for myself, that if I would like to evaluate how much I want something, I just need to look at my actions towards that goal. ( In the case of my eating habits ; I was doing NOTHING or doing the opposite of what I should be doing rather. )

I started my career in games making 5 dollars an hour. After eight years in, I still make less than I did when I was a web designer. I know I WANT this because I'm always doing something to improve. No matter how slight. And my mind set is more " I have to do this." There is no other option. ( Not to say that I don't stress out that I'm not good enough, as I feel the more I learn, the more areas I need to improve...)

With my daughter now here, I found myself spending more time in the details, second guessing myself. Wondering how I'm gonna juggle it all. I spend alot of time wanting to BE more, but not knowing what that means. This keeps me from doing anything. Which brings me back to the "doing". Something that I have forgotten along the way, and just relearned from people asking me what it takes.

1.) Make the decision.
2.) Be "willing" to do the dirt
3.) Take action

"Do" until you get there. The alternative is not "do" ,and that means you really don't want it like you thought you did. ( Crap why didnt this make sense to me when I originally saw star wars...damn you yoda...)

Again, the main purpose of this is mainly to remind myself of what Ive forgotten and get back to that place I once was. Enjoying the learning and to not be afraid to dream. That , sure , I don't have to do anything, but if I want something I need to take action. I may not do it perfectly, but every time I do something it gets me one step closer to what I want. The rest will work itself out.

I dont mean to sound preachy. I guess typing it out helps solidify this idea to me. My little brother lives this way. He doesnt have a "studio" gig. He works a job that doesnt make him happy. He stresses about the family stuff,and has been lookin to get his foot in the door for a couple years now. Back in the day I would've bet he wouldve given up by now. He complains a bunch but hes still "does", and I couldnt be more proud. That to me is really showing the "want".

So to those who want to be something, nows the time to move into phase two : DO.

And to myself : remember to be something and move into phase 2.

If you read that whole thing wow...

If you read that whole thing and it helped a bit, then one of the many things that Ive been wanting to do Ive accomplished and I thank you for letting me share.

Keep on keepin on
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